The Date From Hell

Superbeast Creative
The following events are completely true.

I met a girl on Match.com and we chatted for about two weeks before going out for the first time last Saturday. The plan was she meet me at my apartment then we would go for a walk and grab a drink or some coffee.

7:00 PM - I call her to let her know I was now home and she could meet me anytime. She says she will be over in 30 minutes.

8:00 PM - She shows up to my place. At first she seamed kind of spacey which I wrote off as her being nervous.

8:05 PM - She has been walking around in my apartment and acting very confused. She asked why I have my DVD's in a certain order and confused when I explain they are alphabetical. A wire sitting on a shelve also puzzled her. "Why is this wire here" -"Well, because I'm lazy and I just decided to put it there". After this goes on for a bit I ask if she would like some water or a drink.


8:10 PM - We are now in the kitchen, I just poured myself a much needed drink. She suddenly grabs me and begins kissing me. I am very shocked but also thinking ok, cool, this is breaking the ice.

8:11 PM - After about a minute of kissing she grabs and pulls me towards the bedroom were she immediately disrobes and gets under the covers leaving me at the side of the bed completely clothed. This is where it gets really, really weird.

8:12 PM - I am still at the side of the bed, and she is now laying in bed facing the wall doing nothing. I ask her "Ummm are you ok?" -"Yes Im Fine". Well she was not fine. She sits up in bed and starts taking very deep breathes. I ask her "Would you like some water...or something..." She replies no. She then lays back in bed again just laying there. At this point I'm not sure what to do, all i know is I have to get this crazy woman out of here pronto.

8:13 PM - She sits up in bed and makes says "Im sorry. I was just so nervous about meeting you." She immediately PUKES all over herself and my bed. HOLY SHIT. WHAT THE FUCK. I grab her a nearby waste bucket and instruct her to the bathroom.

8:14 PM - She is in the bathroom now. I turn on my bedroom light to assess the damage. Not only is there puke all over my bed and floor, but menstruation blood is soaking into my sheet.

8:15 PM - I grab some towels for her and tell her she is welcome to take a shower if needs. She then creeks the bathroom door open and asks if I want to come in. I decline and say "how about you clean up, put your clothes on, then we can talk..."

8:30 PM - Im sitting in my living room and she comes out of the bathroom. Covering herself with a blanket and still full of puke. She lays on my couch, grabs her phone, and begins calling her friends like nothing has happened.

8:40 PM - She is starting to pass out. I ask if she needs a ride somewhere or if someone is coming to get her. She says a friend is coming to get her. She then completely passes out on my couch.

9:00 PM - After 20 minutes of trying to get this puke girl to wake up, put her clothes on and leave, she does exactly that. She leaves talking on her cell phone which I hear her drop halfway down the hallway. She is gone. Now, lets look at the bathroom which I had not seen yet. Puke is everywhere and she has taken a blood soiled maxi-pad and tossed it against my bath tub. I spend the next hour cleaning enough where I can sleep. I throw away the waste bucket along with the towels. The sheets are sent to the cleaners and my bathroom get a bleach bomb. It took until 4:00 PM Sunday to get my bathroom aired out. The grossest and weirdest date. I think this might be the worst date in Minneapolis.

So its obvious this girl was on SOMETHING, but i have no idea what. She didn't smell like booze and when she kissed me I could n't taste booze.

Oh and it was very obvious she had some kind of curry dish for dinner that night.

second date?