Dumbass Of the Week:Chocolate penis craving lands man in court

Chocolate penis craving lands man in court

A 28-year-old man is headed to court after being unable to control a strange urge that overcame him while visiting a condom shop in Gothenburg with his fiancee last November.

As he was strolling through the store, the man became so enamoured with a chocolate penis and a Playboy bunny that he decided to stuff both in his pocket and exit the store without paying.

“I lost my head. I even had money with me. I don’t know why I took the stuff,” the 28-year-old said to the Göteborgs-Posten newspaper.

The man had thought of giving the items to his fiancee as a present until he was caught with the chocolate penis protruding from his back pocket.

During questioning the man admitted to taking the dildo delicacy, but initially denied snatching the bunny.

Had the man come clean and pleaded guilty to stealing both items, which have a combined value of 148 kronor ($25), he could have resolved the matter by simply paying a fine.

Instead, the man’s lie has landed him in court, where he will once again be asked to explain why he attempted to pilfer the chocolate penis.

Dumbass of the Week:13yr old Steals Credit Card, Hires Hookers

13 Year Old Steals Dad's Credit Card to Buy Hookers
Published on 9 May 2008
A 13 year old from Texas who stole his Dad's credit card and ordered two hookers from an escort agency, has today been convicted of fraud and given a three year community order.
Ralph Hardy, a 13 year old from Newark, Texas confessed to ordering an extra credit card from his father's existing credit card company, and took his friends on a $30,000 spending spree, culminating in playing "Halo" on an Xbox with a couple of hookers in a Texas motel.
The credit card company involved said it was regular practice to send extra credit cards out as long as all security questions are answered.

The escort girls who were released without charge, told the arresting officers something was up when the kids said they would rather play Xbox than get down to business.
Police said they were alerted to the motel by a concerned delivery clerk, whom after delivering supplies of Dr Pepper, Fritos and Oreos had been asked by the kids where they could score some chicks and were willing to pay. They explained they had just made a big score at a "World of Warcraft" tournament and wanted to get some relaxation. On noting the boys age the delivery clerk informed the authorities.

When police arrived at the motel they found $3,000 in cash, numerous electronic gadgets, an Xbox video console with numerous games, and the two local escort girls.
Ralph had reportedly told police that his father wouldn't mind, as it was his birthday last week and he had forgot to get him a present. The father, a lawyer said he had been too busy, but would take him on a surprise trip to Disneyland instead.

Asked why he ordered two escorts, Ralph said he thought it was the thing to do when you win a "World of Warcraft" tournament. They told the suspicious working girls they were people of restricted growth working with a traveling circus, and as State law does not allow those with disabilities to be discriminated against they had no right to refuse them.

The $1,000 a night girls sensing something up played "Halo" on the Xbox with the kids, instead of selling their sexual services.

Ralph's ambition is to one day become a politician.

Just when you've thought you'd seen it all...

Parents Fight Over Which Gang Toddler Should Join
Police: Mother A Crip, Father A Westside Baller

POSTED: 7:10 pm MDT April 10, 2008
UPDATED: 7:27 am MDT April 11, 2008


COMMERCE CITY, Colo. -- A couple fighting about which gang their 4-year-old toddler should join caused a public disturbance that resulted in the father's arrest, Commerce City police said Thursday.

On Saturday, Joseph Manzanares stormed into the Hollywood Video store where his girlfriend worked, threatened to kill her and knocked over several video displays and even a computer, Commerce City police Sgt. Joe Sandoval said.

After he ran out of the store, police were called and the 19-year-old was arrested at his home.

His girlfriend told police that they had been arguing about the upbringing of their son and which gang he should belong to. The teen mother, who is black, is a member of the Crips. Manzanares is Hispanic and belongs to the Westside Ballers gang, the woman said.

"They have different ideas on how the baby should be raised. Basically, she said they cannot agree on which gang the baby would 'claim,'" Sandoval said.

Manzanares was charged with disorderly conduct, harassment, and domestic violence. He was transported to the Adams County Detention Facility.

On Tuesday, he pleaded guilty to disorderly conduct and was sentenced to a year of probation. The misdemeanor harassment charge was dropped

Dumbass Of the Week-Involves Crack,Nudity and a Croc

He was naked, on crack and in alligator's mouth

By Amy L. Edwards
The Orlando Sentinel
SCOTT WHEELER / THE LEDGER (POLK COUNTY, FLA.)

ORLANDO, Fla. — Carlos Mayid couldn't see Adrian Apgar being attacked by an alligator early Wednesday, but he could hear him.
With his cellphone in hand and a sheriff's operator on the line, Mayid left his home near Lake Parker, Fla., and walked down his street in the predawn darkness toward the screams of a man who was fighting for his life in the water.

In the recording of a dramatic 911 call released Thursday, Mayid is heard breathing heavily and walking through wet grass as Apgar's repeated cries grow louder. Finally, he got close enough to yell back.
"Hey. What's up? What do you need?" Mayid hollered.
"A gator's got me," Apgar replied, his voice faint in the background.

Mayid's call shortly after 4 a.m. sent four Polk County, Fla., deputies racing to the 2,150-acre lake just outside Lakeland, Fla., where they jumped into the water and wrenched Apgar's arm from the gator's mouth. The 45-year-old victim, who told authorities he'd passed out nude on the shore after smoking crack cocaine, was rushed to a hospital in critical condition.

Later Wednesday, state wildlife authorities trapped and killed a nearly 12-foot-long alligator thought to be the one that attacked Apgar.
Mayid's call was picked up by operator Josh Fulman.
"There's a guy screaming bloody murder over here, 'Help,' in front of the Moose Lodge," Mayid said. He could not be reached Thursday to elaborate on his experience.
"I can hear him from inside my house ... He's screaming, 'Help, help, help, help.' "
A dramatic back-and-forth followed, with Mayid serving as the middleman between victim and operator.

Fulman told Mayid that deputies were on the way, but there was little the two could do. Meanwhile, Apgar kept screaming.
Replying to a plea from Apgar that was inaudible on the tape, Mayid said, "I ain't going over there. I can't go in there anyway. ... I don't know how the hell they're going to get through."
Mayid ended up getting close enough to ask Apgar where the alligator had bitten him, yelling, "Help is on the way, help is on the way."

About five minutes into the nearly eight-minute call, the operator suggested Mayid tell Apgar to punch the alligator. "I don't know if it's true, but if you punch him in the nose ... it may let him go," Fulman said.
Mayid relayed the message and immediately came back with Apgar's response: "Too big."
Said Mayid, "He says he needs a gun."

Polk County deputies arrived about two minutes later and soon reached Apgar in the water. He was slumped over in the alligator's jaws in chest-deep water on the east side of Lake Parker.
After a tug-of-war with the gator, three deputies and their sergeant were able to rescue Apgar and carry him to shore. The rescue took about 20 minutes.

Apgar told the deputies he had been smoking crack cocaine and fell asleep on the shore when the alligator attacked him. The area includes a strip of land with a picnic table.
But local and state officials said Thursday they don't know if Apgar was on the land or already in the water when he was attacked.

Sheriff's officials have said Apgar, 45, suffered a broken right arm. His left arm was nearly severed, and he had bites to his buttocks and leg. He underwent surgery Wednesday afternoon at Lakeland Regional Medical Center.
A hospital spokeswoman said Apgar was alive Thursday, but a family member asked that his specific condition not be released and would not talk to reporters.

Gary Morse, spokesman for the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission, said the 11-foot, 9-inch, 600-pound alligator trapped several hours after the attack had been euthanized, a necessary step to protect the public.
The alligator was "much larger" than average, Morse said.

Investigators aren't positive the captured alligator was the one that attacked Apgar, but they think it is the culprit because it is the only gator feeding in that area.