Dumbasses Of the Day:Armed robber’s take? A dollar bill Amd Student Goes Nuts At Graduation

SOUTH BEND — A man was robbed at gunpoint early this morning, but the armed suspect only got $1.

Police said a 50-year-old Niles man was delivering fuel to a gas station in the 2200 block of East McKinley just after midnight when he was approached by a man demanding money.

The suspect – described to police as a 6 feet tall man weighing about 160 pounds, wearing dark clothing with a bandanna pulled over his face – pointed a gun at the truck driver, who told the man that he didn’t’ have much money in his wallet.


The suspect took the solitary dollar bill and fled on foot away from the gas station. The truck driver was unharmed.


AHS graduate arrested following ceremony

Wednesday, June 4, 2008 9:56 AM CDT

An Arab High School senior was booed by the crowed when he "shot a bird" and cursed at his family, AHS principal Patrick Crowder and Arab superintendent John Mullins when he was called up to receive his diploma at Friday night's graduation ceremony. He also took a swing at Crowder, but only slightly grazed his back.

Joseph Bryan Shore, 18, of Golfview Drive, was arrested following the graduation ceremony. He is charged with disorderly conduct.

"We truly regret having to involve the Arab Police Department at graduation," Crowder said. "We felt that the levels of spoken and expressed obscenities left us no other recourse."

Mullins called the incident "unfortunate."

"On behalf of our seniors, their parents and their families, I regret that it did take place," he said. "The incident is certainly not truly reflective of our students, their families or our community."

According to Arab police reports, school officials asked officers to assist with Shore after graduation.


"(Shore) was cursing school staff and, as Sgt. (Gina) Smith and Sgt. (Lauren) Harnack approached, it appeared the subject was about to run," the report said. "Smith advised him to place his hands behind his back, but he began resisting."

Another officer was called to pick Shore up and carry him to jail.

"Shore was still cursing at Crowder and Mullins," the report said. "Shore's family was behind us and becoming irate because he was under arrest. Several times they had to be told to calm down and back off."

Police also had to tell a gathering of people, some of whom were arguing and cursing, to disperse.

Shore was taken to Arab City Jail without further incident.

Dumbass Of the Day:Weed For Food

No pot luck for cash-strapped Kiwi
Posted 10 hours 55 minutes ago

A New Zealand man who found himself in a service station queue with no money has attempted to pay for his food with cannabis, the Dominion Post newspaper reported.

Unfortunately he did not get a chance to discover whether the attendant would accept his offer, as the person behind him in the queue was a police officer.

The man's attempt to buy two packets of chocolate and a packet of potato chips to satisfy his "munchies" was caught short when he was arrested.

He must have been hungry, as he failed to notice the police patrol car being filled with petrol, the paper reported.

The 28-year-old mechanic from the small North Island town of Carterton pleaded guilty to possessing cannabis in the Masterton District Court and was remanded for sentencing .

Dumbasses X 2:Skulls need to finish Business..

Texas teens tell police they converted skull into bong
Fri May 9, 3:33 AM ET

HOUSTON - Three teenagers were arrested after two of them told police they dug up a secluded grave north of Houston, removed the skull from the coffin and converted it into a marijuana bong.

Police found a grave in the city of Humble that had been disturbed, but were still investigating the rest of the teens' story, Houston police Sgt. John Chomiak said.

Kevin Wade Jones, 17, and Matthew Richard Gonzalez, 17, both of Kingwood, were arrested Wednesday night and were being held on misdemeanor charges of abuse of a corpse, Chomiak said. The juvenile was referred to the Harris County juvenile justice system.

A woman who answered the phone at Gonzalez's home declined comment. A telephone number for Jones could not immediately be found, and it wasn't clear from court records if either had an attorney.

Police were interviewing Jones about the use of a stolen debit card when he told them about the grave theft, which purportedly occurred around March 15, according to court documents. Asked why Jones would volunteer such a story, Chomiak said, "We can only speculate and guess to what goes on in the criminal mind."

Gonzalez confirmed the story to investigators in a follow-up interview. Police were led to a heavily wooded site in Humble where they found a knocked-over headstone and water-filled hole more than 4 feet deep. At the time, the muddy water did not allow police to see if the coffin had been disturbed.

"They dug into this gravesite and that was enough to warrant the abuse of corpse charge," Chomiak said. "There has to be further investigation into the actual gravesite."

Police believe the grave is that of an 11-year-old boy who died in 1921. Preliminary reports indicate it was part of a 19th-century veterans cemetery, Chomiak said. While residents in the area knew of the cemetery's existence, it did not appear to be maintained.


Naked stranger on toilet asks to 'finish business' before arrest
By Joe VanHoose
Last Modified: Friday, May 9, 2008 at 6:00 a.m.
Marion County Sheriff's Office Tom Wilkerson

OCALA — Lisa Bess could not figure out why the front door to her home on West Silver Springs Boulevard was locked and the key was missing Tuesday afternoon. She couldn't figure out why her bathroom door was locked and water was running. She called the police.

When Ocala police officers kicked open the door to her bathroom at about 5 p.m., she had her answer: A man had found the extra key outside, let himself in, picked out a new outfit of her clothes to wear and took a long hot shower. They found him sitting naked on the bathroom toilet.

"There was still a stench of my body lotion; actually, water was still draining from the bathtub," Bess said. "And he was refusing to get off the toilet until he finished doing his business."


Police arrested a man who later identified himself as Tom Wilkerson, 57, for trespassing. Ocala police Sgt. Angy Scroble said the man also identified himself as Antonio Wilson.

Bess believes he spent most of the day inside her home.

Bess said she locked the house when she and her two daughters left to go to school and work at about 8:30 a.m. Tuesday.

"He went through all our clothes and picked out socks, some plaid shirts, a nice pair of black dress pants and my underwear," she said. "My neighbors said they saw him come and go to the store and smoke cigarettes outside on the porch, and they just thought he was a friend of mine."

Bess said Wilkerson used the same strategy when police caught him. He told them he was a friend of the family and was just visiting.

The time in the house gave him a chance to shower up, using Bess' Victoria's Secret lavender body wash, and shave. She could smell her body wash in the air and said there was still steam on the bathroom mirror.

"He was perfectly clean cut when we saw him, but he was wearing our clothes," she said. "I couldn't tell you what underwear he was wearing, but I don't think I want to know."

No one was hurt during the altercation, and Wilkerson was taken to the Marion County Jail.

Bess said, other than the clothes he was wearing, Wilkerson took nothing else from the home. She said she won't mind if she doesn't get the clothes back.

"It was scary, but it was so funny, too," she said. "I couldn't be mad at him because I was laughing so hard."

Dumbasses of the Day:Pornstars buying LCD TV For $3.00

Porno movie dispute lands woman in jail

A woman is accused of chasing her boyfriend with a knife after thinking he was an actor in a pornographic movie they were watching together.

The victim says it all started when he and his girlfriend were inside his southwest Albuquerque home watching a pornographic move at 10:30 Wednesday morning.

That’s when the victim called 911 saying his girlfriend, 20-year-old Amanda Moya, had a knife.

“She almost shanked me and everything. She put the (expletive) knife right under my throat," the victim told a 911 operator.

The victim, wearing only a pair of shorts took off down Five Points, begging the 911 dispatcher for help.

He said Moya had already stabbed him in the face and bitten him on his chest.

“She already has battery charges against her. She's not even supposed to be around me," the victim said.

The dispatcher told the victim to keep running and try to get inside a store.

The victim made it to a business parking lot at Bridge and Sunset with Moya still on his trail when he was able to flag down a deputy who was headed to the victim’s residence.

Deputies arrested Moya and charged her with aggravated assault and aggravated battery.

She was also charged with child abuse because deputies say she left her eight-month-old boy alone in the home while she chased her boyfriend down the road.


Kirksville man accused of switching water bottle's UPC_code with $500 TV
Published: Friday, April 25, 2008 1:40 PM CDT

KIRKSVILLE - A Kirksville man faces a felony indictment after trying to purchase a LCD television for less than $3 by allegedly replacing its UPC code with that of a water bottle.

Reginald Newman, 44, was indicted Monday by the Adair County Grand Jury and has been charged with attempted stealing by deceit.

According to documents filed in Adair County Circuit Court, Newman allegedly tried to purchase a 26-inch Viore LCD television from Wal-Mart, claiming the UPC code valued at $3.16 was the proper code the television, which normally sells for more than $517.

If convicted, he faces up to seven years in prison, a fine of up to $5,000 or any combination of the two.

He is in custody at the Adair County Detention Center on a $10,000 cash-only bond.

The grand jury also indicted a Novinger, Mo., man on two counts of felony forgery.

David Novinger, 45, was arrested Wednesday for writing checks on two accounts that were not his own.

He is also in custody at the Detention Center on a $25,000 cash-only bond.

Dumbasses of the Day: Bugged CD player & Don't ask for directions

Tampa Woman's 911 Calls Answered With Arrest
By JOSH POLTILOVE | The Tampa Tribune
Published: April 24, 2008

TAMPA - A Tampa woman who has called 911 about 20 times since March 22 dialed the number again this morning to report her CD player was bugged and that her mobile home park was listening to her, Hillsborough County deputies say.
When a deputy came to the scene and wouldn't listen to her radio, she called 911 again.
Deputies arrested Denise Ann Dean, 36, at 1:35 a.m. at 14011 N. Nebraska Ave., Lot 39
She was charged with making a false 911 call, a misdemeanor.
She remained in Falkenburg Road Jail today. Her bail was set at $500.
In a separate incident this morning, University of South Florida police officers arrested a Tampa man they say made harassing phone calls to their station.
Jacob N. Jones, 24, called USF's station about 20 times after he received a traffic summons Tuesday, a criminal arrest affidavit states.
Jones told police during the calls that he repeatedly would call to make up for the amount of the ticket, according to the affidavit.
Police arrested Jones at 3:33 a.m. He is a student and lives on campus, where he was arrested, the jail's Web site shows.
The charge against him, harassing telephone calls, is a misdemeanor.
Jones remained in Orient Road Jail today. His bail was set at $250.

Carjacker asks TV crew for directions, police say
CLEVELAND, Ohio (AP) -- A carjacking suspect stopped during the crime to ask a television news crew for directions, police said.
The 19-year-old was arraigned Thursday on a charge of aggravated robbery and ordered held on $50,000 bond.
WOIO-TV newswoman Shannon O'Brien and photographer Eric Walls were doing a sidewalk report Monday on bank problems when the passenger in a car asked for directions to a bank.
The driver signaled that he was being held at gunpoint, O'Brien told police.
The news crew called police and followed the car until officers caught up. Police Lt. Thomas Stacho said the suspect was carrying a loaded handgun.

Double the Dumbassery of the day

Texas inmate cons way onto Idaho ballot
updated 7:54 p.m. CT, Wed., April. 16, 2008

BOISE, Idaho - A federal prison inmate got himself listed on the ballot for Idaho's May 27 primary as a Democratic presidential candidate, the state's top election official said.

Keith Russell Judd is serving time at the Beaumont Federal Correctional Institution in Texas for making threats at the University of New Mexico in 1999. He's scheduled for release in 2013.

Judd, 49, qualified for the ballot by submitting a notarized form and paying the required $1,000 fee, state Secretary of State Ben Ysursa said. As a result, Democratic voters will be able to choose among Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton and Judd.

"We got conned," Ysursa told The Spokesman-Review of Spokane, Wash.

It's Judd's second presidential bid in Idaho, the newspaper said Wednesday. In 2004 he declared as a write-in candidate for president, which requires only the submission of a declaration, and didn't get any votes.

No matter how many votes he gets this time, he won't get any national convention delegates. Idaho's delegates are chosen at party caucuses.

"The good thing is the Democratic presidential primary has absolutely no legal significance," Ysursa said.

Prison officials told the state elections office that Judd sent out about 14 checks to states seeking to get on the presidential election ballot and about half had been returned. He qualified as a write-in candidate in Kentucky, California, Indiana and Florida, but Idaho apparently is the only state where his name will appear on the ballot.

"It's a mockery of the system, and it's too bad that this kind of thing can happen," said Chuck Oxley, a state Democratic Party spokesman.

Party leaders are especially annoyed because Ysursa, a Republican, barred a Democratic state senate candidate, Matt Yost, from the ballot after determining that Yost was registered to vote in a different district.

"We have this really good candidate who can't get on the ballot, and this yahoo prisoner in Texas who coughs up a thousand bucks can," Oxley complained.

Judd paid his fee with a U.S. Treasury check drawn on his prison account, Ysursa said.

In his declaration, Judd listed as a campaign office telephone number the city desk news tip line at the Beaumont Enterprise newspaper in Texas. On a ProjectVoteSmart profile, he gave an Internal Revenue Service line in Ohio for the number of his campaign coordinator telephone.

"We did some checking," Ysursa said. "There was nothing legally to keep him off."

A key reason Judd was able to make the ballot was a recent change in state election law that eliminated a requirement under which he would have had to get signatures from more than 3,000 Idaho citizens.

"We may rethink how we get on our presidential ballot next time," Ysursa said. "We'll take a look at it. We've got four years to think about it."

Man arrested; allegedly viewed pornography on library computer
April 12, 2008

WILLIAMSBURG - Several times during the last month, a maintenance worker has found what appeared to be bodily fluids in pencil holders and plastic bags around the public-access computer area of the Williamsburg Regional Library.

After the worker told library officials, the incidents were reported Monday to police, who suspected that a man was repeatedly masturbating at the library. On Thursday, library workers saw a man around the computer area and called police. The man initially had his hands down his pants but began fumbling around and acting nervously when police arrived, Williamsburg police spokesman David Sloggie said.

The man was arrested after police determined that he was looking at a pornographic Web site on one of the library's computers, Sloggie said.

Jeffrey Jay Jones, 22, of Joy Drive in Hampton is charged with defacing public property and possession of marijuana, Sloggie said. Police found marijuana when arresting Jones.

Sloggie said no one witnessed any acts, so Jones couldn't be charged with exposing himself. If the acts had taken place in front of a child or anyone else, it would have risen to a felony, Sloggie said.

Williamsburg Regional Library Director John Moorman said Friday that the library did have policies regarding use of its public computers and the Internet.

According to the library's Internet use policy, all computers accessible to the public have technology that filters or blocks child pornography, obscene material and materials deemed harmful to juveniles as defined by Virginia state law.

However, filters can't catch everything.

"One person's definition of pornography may not be somebody else's," Moorman said.

Moorman said the library handled any violations of the policy on an individual basis and contacted police if any inappropriate behavior was observed. Violations of the policy might also result in revocation of library privileges.

"We are a public facility," he said. "In this day and age, anything can happen in a public facility."

She should have told them evil gnomes did it.

Ok,in the end of Feb 08 I had broke my ankle, that shit hurt,I mean it hurt bad and swelled up and turned black...boy that was fun....but read below, these are some fucked in the head freaks....(I took that comment about the evil gnomes from Dlisted, if anyone asks)

MAN JAILED FOR JUMPING ON GIRLFRIEND'S LEG IN BID TO SUE COUNCIL
A man who broke his girlfriend's leg at her own request, and had it filmed on a mobile phone, in a bid to sue Plymouth City Council has been jailed for three years.

Gordon Thomson, 32, of Bampfylde Way, Southway, jumped two footed onto Elizabeth Hingston's leg, which was propped up on house bricks as she lay on the floor, a court heard.

A friend filmed the whole sickening incident on a mobile phone - a 20-second film which was watched in court. David Gittins, prosecuting, said that the pair had claimed that the injury had been caused by her garden wall falling on Miss Hingston, 27, at his council home.

The incident came to light on November 24, 2006 when police officers executed a drugs warrant at the defendent's home and seized a mobile phone, which they examined for evidence of drugs offences.
It was then they found the film of Thomson jumping on his girlfriend's leg. Police also found a partially completed insurance claim form. The video showed Hingston lying face down on the floor wrapped in a duvet with her leg exposed and her foot covered by a pillow. Bricks were placed below her knee and above her ankle before burly Thomson jumped as high as he could. He lands on her leg with his full force and a sickening crunch - so loud it made the court room gasp out loud - is heard.

The camera man then mumbles his approval and says ''that's definitely done it''. Images taken from the video Hingston was rushed to Derriford Hospital where she underwent an operation to put pins into her leg and was unable to walk for six months.

Mr Gittins said that during interview following his arrest on April 25 2007 Thomson admitted ''I did break her leg, but only because she had kept on and on at me for days to do it. ''I only jumped on her leg to shut her up.''

Thomson admitted causing grievous bodily harm with intent Robert Linford, defending, said that the pair had got the idea from television adverts for "no win no fee" solicitors who could claim thousands for personal injuries.

The court heard that though the accident was reported to the council, no legal claim was ever made.

Judge Francis Gilbert, after watching the film in court, said the case was 'extraordinary'. He added "To inflict really serious harm deliberately and with premeditation for a wholly financial motive is an extremely serious offence which only a custodial sentence is justified."

Thomson, who has a history of heavy amphetamine abuse, has already served nearly a year behind bars and could be released in about six months. He was supported in court by his new fiancee, Lauren Partridge, who shares a Southway home with him and her mother.

The family refused to comment after the case. The couple had been going out for just two months when the incident happened.

Dumbassery of the Day x 3

School says Athens,TX girl lied about immigration poster assault
4/9/2008

School officials say an eighth-grader lied when she told them a pack of angry classmates assaulted her over an anti-illegal immigration poster she brought to campus.

Athens Superintendent Fred Hayes said Wednesday that surveillance video shows 13-year-old Melanie Bowers inflicting scratch marks on herself after her poster was taken.

Bowers' poster for a class project read, ``If you love our nation, stop illegal immigration.'' Three Hispanic students had been suspended for their role in the alleged scuffle. Hayes said their punishment remains valid because they helped take the poster, but did not hurt Bowers in doing so.

Hayes said the school district has asked police to file criminal charges against the girl for filing a false report.


Palm Bay woman accused of attacking husband with soap
April 9, 2008

PALM BAY,FL — A 43-year-old woman who police said trespassed into a home and attacked her estranged husband in the shower with a bar of unwrapped soap, will face a judge next month.

Cheryl Ann Lunderman, of the 900 Raleigh Road, was charged with battery and burglary to an occupied dwelling after Palm Bay Police were called to a home located on the 2200 block of Oklahoma Avenue to investigate reports of a disturbance, reports show.

Lunderman, listed by police as a registered nurse, is expected to have a hearing on the charges May 16, records show. Last week a judge ordered Lunderman not to return to the home or have any further contact with the victim, records show. Palm Bay Police said the man was home taking a shower about 9:30 p.m. on April 2 when Lunderman got into the residence, walked into the bathroom and struck him in the face with an unwrapped bar of soap.

The man’s right eye was bruised by the soap, investigators said. The couple had been married for over two decades when they separated, officials reported. Police arrested Lunderman and transported her to the Brevard County Jail Complex. Police are seeking $134 in investigative costs in the case, reports show.


Unlicensed Dentist Arrested With Rusty and Bloodied Instruments
West Palm Beach, Florida
April 10, 2008 - 7:07AM

West Palm Beach, Fla.- Deputies have arrested a West Palm Beach man who they say was performing dentistry without a license. They say 37 year old Luis Sanchez was pulled over for running a red light April 2. A deputy saw a bag of stainless steel dental instruments in car. Sanchez explained he had been a dentist in Cuba and also worked as a dental assistant in Florida.

He said he had lost his job recently and did dental work on his friends to "make extra money" although he is not licensed to practice as a dentist in the state of Florida.

Deputies say they found dental instruments in his car, some of them rusty or with traces of blood on them. They say he also had a generic form of novocaine in his car and in his apartment.

They found various dental supplies and tools in his apartment on Forest Hill Boulevard, includng syringes, plaster impressions of teeth and an autoclave which is used to sterilize dental instruments.

Anyone who was a patient of Luis Sanchez is asked to call Deputy Steve Tzirtziropoulos at the Palm Beach County Sheriff's Office at (561) 904-8275. Sanchez is charged with unlawful possession of prescription legend drugs, and operation of an unlicensed dental lab.

Mega-Dumbasses x 2 WTF??

I am actually glad those two Bitches died, that's what they get oh well:

Teenage Girls Killed After Slashing Taxi Driver With Box Cutter
Last Update: 4/08 10:31 pm

Two teenage girls who attempted to rob a cab driver, slashing his face with a box cutter, were thrown from the taxi and killed in a wreck on Tuesday, police said.

The 50-year-old driver was taken to a hospital and released after receiving treatment for minor injuries, including cuts to his neck and face, Los Angeles Police Department spokeswoman Officer April Harding said. His name was not immediately released.

Two 17-year-old girls flagged down the cab at about 12:30 a.m. in eastern Los Angeles and asked to be taken to a nearby housing project, police said.

The girls were Alexous Ann Sandoval and Daisy Orozco, both Los Angeles residents, the coroner's office said.

When they pulled up, one girl said her boyfriend would come down to pay their fare. Instead, he approached the cab with a gun, Harding said.

The cab driver apparently sped away with the women still in the back seat.

"The cab driver got scared," Harding said. "One of the females pulled out a box cutter and began cutting the taxi cab driver and that's what caused him to crash."

It appeared the cab driver believed he was being followed by a gunman, police said. Two men were detained and being questioned about the incident, Harding said.


Don't Fuck with Chuck man...

N.J. Student's Hit List Included Chuck Norris
POSTED: 8:29 am EDT April 9, 2008
UPDATED: 8:34 am EDT April 9, 2008

PENNSAUKEN, N.J. -- Two Pennsauken High School students have been arrested after a teacher found what was believed to be a hit list that targeted actor Chuck Norris.
Camden County prosecutor's spokesman Jason Laughlin says the list also included the names of three students and a school staff member.
No one was injured.

The two boys, both juniors, have not been found to have possessed any weapons.
School superintendent James Chapman said in a posting on the district's Web site that the boys said the list was a joke. School officials and police were taking it seriously.

Dumb Asses of the Day, Yup Criminal Masterminds

Why was man in female attire in victim's closet?
Trial - A jury renders a verdict on the defendant, who says it was a mistake Tuesday, April 08,2008

HILLSBORO -- The petite 24-year-old Beaverton woman got out of the shower wrapped in a towel, stopped to watch a couple of minutes of TV and then sat down on her bed.

While putting lotion on her legs, she realized a man was standing in her closet, staring at her with bright blue eyes. He was wearing a lacy negligee with fishnet stockings, a woman's miniskirt, a sheer white blouse and a long brown wig.

For a second, time stood still. The woman stared back. The man hid his face in the crook of his arm.

Then she screamed twice, ran to another room and called police. The man fled without saying a word, hurrying from the ground-floor apartment in the 15200 block of Southwest Teal Boulevard to his nearby van.

She saw him again about a year later, this time in a Washington County courtroom. And he had an explanation for why he had been in her closet.

Prosecutor Gina Williamson Skinner was clear to jurors what the woman was thinking when she first saw the man in her closet.

"She had no idea what was going on, what was going to happen, how much risk she was at," Skinner said. "But what she thought at that moment was that she was going to be raped.

"It is every woman's greatest nightmare."

For nine months, the woman worried that the man might return. Until police told her they'd found their suspect -- they had matched DNA found on a meth pipe the man dropped in her closet to a convicted felon.

8 teens charged with beating girl so they could videotape the attack for YouTube

LAKELAND, Fla. -- Eight teenagers have been arrested on charges alleging they beat another teen in an "animalistic attack" so they could make a videotape to post on YouTube.

Seven of them remained in juvenile detention Tuesday, authorities said. A boy who was charged as an adult had been released on bail.

Victoria Lindsay was attacked on March 30 by six teenage girls when she arrived at a friend's home, authorities said.

One of the girls struck the 16-year-old victim on the head several times and then slammed her head into a wall, knocking her unconscious, according to an arrest report.

Later, according to a clip of the video that was released by the Polk County sheriff's office, the teens can be seen blocking a door and hitting Victoria.

"It's absolutely an animalistic attack," Sheriff Grady Judd said Tuesday on NBC's "Today." "They lured her into the home for express purpose of filming the attack and posting it on the Internet."

Victoria's father, Patrick Lindsay, said the teens intended to post the video on the video-sharing Web site YouTube.

Christina Garcia, mother of one of the defendants, said her daughter had turned the tape over to police.

The sheriff's office said that after the attack, three of the teens forced the victim into a vehicle and drove her to another location, where she was told she would be given a worse beating if she contacted police.

All eight suspects were arrested April 2 and charged with battery and false imprisonment. The three teens who took Lindsay to the second location are also charged with felony kidnapping.

Lindsay was treated for a concussion, damage to her left eye and left ear, and numerous bruises, police said.

Motion-Sensing Camera Catches Netflix Thief Red-Handed, Shirtless

Brian Krische and his roommate had a lot of their Netflix discs go missing before they received them, and they grew suspicious. So, like any self-respecting and enterprising geeks, they set up a motion-sensing camera pointed at their mailbox. The results? One chubby, shirtless criminal caught red-handed.

Yes, it turns out their "white-trash tenants in the first floor" had a penchant for checking their neighbors' mail while out on their daily shirtless stroll, snagging any red envelopes that happened to be there. Once Krische got the evidence in hand, he called up Netflix, who then called the cops. The shirtless bandits ended up with a $750 fine and a trip to the First Offender Program. That'll teach 'em to steal their neighbors' BioDome DVD

Hump Day Dumbassary Continues...

Drug arrest follows too many trips to the doughnut box

A Marine Drive man is facing drug charges after he was caught Monday night storing crack cocaine inside an empty doughnut box, police reported.
Bernard Fincher Jr., 25, has been charged with two counts of criminal possession of a controlled substance.
Ferry-Fillmore District police said they were investigating drug activity in the 300 block of Bissell Avenue about 10:55 p.m. when they saw Fincher walk to the doughnut box, pick up a white object and place it in his pocket.
The man then walked a few steps, went back to the box and placed a white object back in the box.
Officers Ralph Skinner and Chad Maloney went over to investigate and discovered more than one-eighth of an ounce of crack cocaine, packaged for sale, inside the doughnut box.
Skinner and Maloney arrested Fincher at the scene.

Naked man arrested after directing traffic in Boise
010:36 PM MDT on Tuesday, April 1, 2008

BOISE -- A Garden City man wanted for attempted kidnapping was later arrested on Fairview Avenue naked.
Lowell Rudlaff, 44, is charged with felony attempted kidnapping and burglary.
According to Boise Police, Rudlaff went to an assisted living facility on North Patton Street Monday morning and claimed he was going to take a male juvenile.
When police were called he left.
Rudlaff was spotted a short time later by drivers as he stood nude at the intersection of Fairview Avenue and Liberty Street directing traffic.
He has not been charged with public nudity, but will be arraigned in a Boise courtroom today on the other charges.

Cruel Craigslist Hoaxers Busted

Burgling Oregon couple's ad triggered ransacking of victim's home
APRIL 1--A week after dozens of people ransacked an Oregon home in response to a Craigslist ad offering its contents for free, police have arrested a couple for orchestrating the online hoax as part of a bid to cover up an earlier burglary at the property. Brandon and Amber Herbert were nabbed last night for allegedly posting the March 22 Craigslist ad, which claimed that the Jacksonville ranch's owner had to leave town so suddenly that his belongings--which included a horse--were available for the taking. The Herberts, investigators charge, did this to cover up their prior theft of several saddles and other items from the garage of the rural southern Oregon house, which is owned by contractor Robert Salisbury. After learning of the Craigslist ad, Salisbury returned to his property to find about 30 people rummaging through his home and remaining belongings. After subpoenaing Craigslist records, Jackson County Sheriff's Office investigators traced the online posting to the Herberts, according to the below probable cause affidavit. As a result, Brandon, 29, and Amber, 28, were both hit with Robbery and Criminal Charges They are pictured in the above mug shots.

DBH'S DumbAsses Of the Day x 4

Judge Sentences Man 10 Days Per Word
Tenn. Judge Sentences Man to 10 Days Per Word After Threatening CommentsThe Associated Press MEMPHIS, Tenn. Mar 26, 2008 (AP)

A man has talked himself into nearly two years in jail after threatening to kill a Shelby County criminal court judge. Joshua Beadle has been held in contempt and sentenced to 10 days per word after a judge ordered him to stop the threatening comments.

Judge Lee Coffee stopped counting at 70 words and sentenced Beadle to 700 days in jail.

Beadle was shackled and outfitted in a special hooded spit mask during the hearing Monday after spitting at the judge at a hearing in January. Beadle missed the judge and instead hit a clerk's computer.

Through his nylon-and-mesh spit mask, he apologized to the clerk on Monday and assured her that his intended target was the judge.

Beadle was appearing in court on burglary and rape charges




“I Was Looking For A Salt Lick!”

That’s the excuse that a man hiding in the woods gave police in Westlake, Ohio, early on the morning of March 26.

The man, identified as Ernest Harte, of Cleveland, now faces a laundry list of charges after he was caught stealing copper piping from a home under construction on Waterfall Way in Westlake.

A local resident noticed Harte around 12:30 AM March 26 and called the cops. Officers got there and Captain Guy Turner says that they found Harte hiding in the trees behind the home.

He gave officers a couple of stories about his activity in the area. First, Harte said that he was looking for a salt-lick for deer hunting purposes. Turner points out that deer hunting is illegal in Westlake.

Harte also told officers that he was having a diabetic fit. Paramedics looked him over and he was deemed fine, which poked a hole in that story.

Harte then claimed to know nothing about the Infiniti G20 parked on the street that he was seen getting into and out of. Yet Turner says keys to it “were mysteriously found on his person.” The car was impounded.

Police also found several items in his possession, including a reciprocating saw, a pipe cutter, and a bolt cutter. He’s charged with attempted theft, breaking and entering, obstructing official business and possession of criminal tools.

Ironically, hart was out on bond for burglary and car theft. He is standing trial on those charges March 31.


“So, Why Did You Carjack That Woman?” “I Didn’t Feel Like Walking!”

A man in West Palm Beach, Florida, was called stupid by the Palm Beach County Sheriff’s Office on March 25. But it’s as though the man, identified as 21-year-old Frank Singleton, could write a book on how to morph a misdemeanor into a felony within the confines of the jail’s parking lot.

“This is one of the stupid criminals,” Sheriff’s Office spokesman Paul Miller said.

Singleton got released from the county jail that day after being arrested on a charge of misdemeanor trespassing.

He immediately ran out into the visitors’ parking lot, and in an apparent effort to get away as quickly as possible, attempted to carjack a 2006 Nissan 350Z, Miller said.

Justine Lapierre, the woman who was driving the vehicle, was just getting out of it when Singleton ran at her saying, “I want your car,” Miller said.

He pushed Lapierre out of the way, grabbed the keys and jumped into the Nissan. But, naturally, it was a manual transmission and Singleton couldn’t operate it, according to Miller.

Hearing the commotion, Sheriff’s Office Pastor Leo Krug walked up and, holding his handgun by his side, ordered the barely free Singleton to the ground so that a deputy could slap the cuffs on him.

Needless to say, Singleton was booked on a charge of carjacking.

“I don’t think he wanted to go back to jail,” Miller said. “I think he really wanted to get away and was looking for a car.” When the detective was making the arrest, he asked Singleton why he did this.

“I didn’t feel like walking,” Singleton said.

DBH's Dumbasses Of the Day

‘Barbie bandits’ sentenced for bank robbery
1 goes to prison, other gets probation for heist followed by shopping spree

MARIETTA, Ga. - The “Barbie bandits” who went on a shopping spree after they were videotaped wearing sunglasses and laughing during an $11,000 bank heist were sentenced Monday, one to prison and another to probation.
Ashley Miller, 19, will have to serve only two years of a 10-year prison sentence and must complete the rest on probation. She pleaded guilty to theft and drug charges.
Heather Johnston, also 19, was sentenced to 10 years’ probation for her role in the February 2007 heist in Acworth, northwest of Atlanta.
The two were caught on tape as they appeared to rob a Bank of America branch in a supermarket. They admitted to plotting with a teller to take the money and later going on a shopping binge that included a stop in a fashionable hair salon.
Cobb County Superior Court Judge Mary Staley urged Miller to learn from her crimes.
“I want you to correct yourself,” Staley told Miller, a former exotic dancer. “There’s no reason you can’t become a productive citizen when you get out of jail.”
Miller’s mother and sister hugged and kissed her before deputies led her out of the courtroom.
Benny Allen — who worked at the bank as a teller — was sentenced to 10 years, to serve five. The judge imposed an additional penalty on Allen because she said he did not testify truthfully in the trial of Michael Chastang, a co-defendant convicted of his role in plotting the heist. Chastang is to be sentenced Tuesday.
Johnston was the first of the group to plead guilty, speeding up the prosecution of her co-defendants.
During her sentencing hearing, Johnston took the witness stand and between sobs apologized for hurting and embarrassing her family and friends.
“A lot of people look down on me,” Johnston said. “I feel terrible. I want to set a good example for my little sister. She’s a great kid. I don’t want her to end up like me.”

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