Dumbasses X 2:Skulls need to finish Business..

Texas teens tell police they converted skull into bong
Fri May 9, 3:33 AM ET

HOUSTON - Three teenagers were arrested after two of them told police they dug up a secluded grave north of Houston, removed the skull from the coffin and converted it into a marijuana bong.

Police found a grave in the city of Humble that had been disturbed, but were still investigating the rest of the teens' story, Houston police Sgt. John Chomiak said.

Kevin Wade Jones, 17, and Matthew Richard Gonzalez, 17, both of Kingwood, were arrested Wednesday night and were being held on misdemeanor charges of abuse of a corpse, Chomiak said. The juvenile was referred to the Harris County juvenile justice system.

A woman who answered the phone at Gonzalez's home declined comment. A telephone number for Jones could not immediately be found, and it wasn't clear from court records if either had an attorney.

Police were interviewing Jones about the use of a stolen debit card when he told them about the grave theft, which purportedly occurred around March 15, according to court documents. Asked why Jones would volunteer such a story, Chomiak said, "We can only speculate and guess to what goes on in the criminal mind."

Gonzalez confirmed the story to investigators in a follow-up interview. Police were led to a heavily wooded site in Humble where they found a knocked-over headstone and water-filled hole more than 4 feet deep. At the time, the muddy water did not allow police to see if the coffin had been disturbed.

"They dug into this gravesite and that was enough to warrant the abuse of corpse charge," Chomiak said. "There has to be further investigation into the actual gravesite."

Police believe the grave is that of an 11-year-old boy who died in 1921. Preliminary reports indicate it was part of a 19th-century veterans cemetery, Chomiak said. While residents in the area knew of the cemetery's existence, it did not appear to be maintained.


Naked stranger on toilet asks to 'finish business' before arrest
By Joe VanHoose
Last Modified: Friday, May 9, 2008 at 6:00 a.m.
Marion County Sheriff's Office Tom Wilkerson

OCALA — Lisa Bess could not figure out why the front door to her home on West Silver Springs Boulevard was locked and the key was missing Tuesday afternoon. She couldn't figure out why her bathroom door was locked and water was running. She called the police.

When Ocala police officers kicked open the door to her bathroom at about 5 p.m., she had her answer: A man had found the extra key outside, let himself in, picked out a new outfit of her clothes to wear and took a long hot shower. They found him sitting naked on the bathroom toilet.

"There was still a stench of my body lotion; actually, water was still draining from the bathtub," Bess said. "And he was refusing to get off the toilet until he finished doing his business."


Police arrested a man who later identified himself as Tom Wilkerson, 57, for trespassing. Ocala police Sgt. Angy Scroble said the man also identified himself as Antonio Wilson.

Bess believes he spent most of the day inside her home.

Bess said she locked the house when she and her two daughters left to go to school and work at about 8:30 a.m. Tuesday.

"He went through all our clothes and picked out socks, some plaid shirts, a nice pair of black dress pants and my underwear," she said. "My neighbors said they saw him come and go to the store and smoke cigarettes outside on the porch, and they just thought he was a friend of mine."

Bess said Wilkerson used the same strategy when police caught him. He told them he was a friend of the family and was just visiting.

The time in the house gave him a chance to shower up, using Bess' Victoria's Secret lavender body wash, and shave. She could smell her body wash in the air and said there was still steam on the bathroom mirror.

"He was perfectly clean cut when we saw him, but he was wearing our clothes," she said. "I couldn't tell you what underwear he was wearing, but I don't think I want to know."

No one was hurt during the altercation, and Wilkerson was taken to the Marion County Jail.

Bess said, other than the clothes he was wearing, Wilkerson took nothing else from the home. She said she won't mind if she doesn't get the clothes back.

"It was scary, but it was so funny, too," she said. "I couldn't be mad at him because I was laughing so hard."